| reality or fiction: how i feel in love |
[Jul. 5th, 2008|12:27 pm] |
As the day becomes darker and darker i wait for the time where i can close my eyes and forget about the day I've had! The stress of an open world. I want to cry as the realization swell and drown my mind, what will the world give me? Am i a doomed soul that is meant to wonder this pathetic earth? how id it far that I try to please everyone and yet get nothing in return, what am i doing? what do I love? i like to draw and be myself, but when i don't know who that is what am i supposed to do? Who can help me find myself and be the person that God intended me to be?
There are days when getting up is something that i have to do, there is no thought as to why I'm doing it. I just do it because i have to be somewhere. I need to do this, It's a responsibility that I have committed myself to doing. But is it ok to take it all back, to go back to the way beginning? I'm just so tired of looking at myself and seeing that everything i do is pointless. I hate to look in the mirror some days and see a person that is ugly and undesirable. I'm not happy and i don't know what to do to change that!
I hope that one day i can find something that makes me happy, find someone that makes me happy...
My typical day consists of me going to work, either at the radio station or at the other job! the job that makes me feel like shit! No body cares about the people that take your orders, they are all fake and pathetic. Sometimes down right rude and miserable. I want so desperately for my prince in shinning armor to come and save me from the hell i live in, but that makes me wonder...what if I've seen him and the opportunity passed by? I want to be loved and i want to love in return. Who would want to love me? a person that can't look in the mirror and love who they are? I see good looking people and they are having fun, i see ugly ass people and they are having a fun time, but me? I'm not fat but I think I'm the fattest person in the world most of the time, which cause me to worry about what people think of what i look like. I want to be sexy, i want to be like those people who think they're hot, just wear whatever i want but i can't. So here i am in a black jacket and plaid PJ's waiting for work to end so i can go home, sleep for an hour and go back to work. Life is so fucking Exciting. But don't worry I'll put on my happy face because apparently i get hit on more when i feel ugly then when i feel cute (how fucked up is that?) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Aug. 30th, 2005|12:19 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  being a girl sucks! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | mariah carey// boy | ] |
( Read more... ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2005|08:37 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  yeah...not there yet | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | listening to the voices in my head...they are very rotten | ] |
title: my eyes are on you
author: me damn it!
summary: Gerard is new in school...read the rest.
pairing: gerard and frankie
disclaimer: gerard is all mine back off(dreams)
( chapter 2 ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 28th, 2005|10:49 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  i have awoken to reality | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the clanking of my spoon against my coffee cut | ] |
title: my eyes are on you
author: me
summary: gerard is new at school. thats all im giving!
disclaimer: read it, like it!
( my eyes are on you ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|04:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | ate to much and my head hurts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the starting line | ] |
hair dyes and transfers
pizzaforagirl
joel has not friends until he meet benji
pg-13
( the last chapter ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2005|09:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  nothing really doing! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | grease// Sandra D | ] |
I had to do a paper for school and i think this is one of the best things i have ever written! i love it. The paper was supposed to be based off of something from your parents and so i wrote my paper about my dad and how he was burned neck to waist. I hope you guys like it!!!
( a flame inside ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 16th, 2005|08:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i'm fat!!!!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | brand new | ] |
ok i need support, I need to go on a diet and people need to help me. You need to call me fat and tell me not to eat! that is the only way to get me to stop eating! I'm starting the liquid diet tomorrow and saturday i'm only eating diner then sunday i'm fasting. People, friends you need to help me!!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|12:31 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i have a head ache | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my chemical romance | ] |
Title: forever and eternity
Author: pizzaforagirl
Summary: Joel's best friend is the bathroom stall before he meets Benji
Rating: PG -13
Disclaimer: i wrote it but thats it enjoy!
( forever and eternity chpter 6 ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 11th, 2005|10:47 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  still in shorts | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | hey borrito | ] |
| Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is | 
Alessandra Menezes |
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|01:49 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i fell fat! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | my chemical romance | ] |
|
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 28th, 2005|11:34 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  my g-ma is pissing me off!! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Shitting Country. kill me now! | ] |
well today is saturday and we have beautiful weather here in seattle, it's not as hot as Vegas anything but it's gotten up to 90 and thats something for us! i get to wear my shirts and flip flops! i love the summer! i can't wait for school to end!!!! i'm going to go swimming today! oh yeah tanning here i come! HAVE FUN AND DON'T GET ROASTED! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2005|02:44 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | talking with a friend | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | listening to Finding Nemo | ] |
Both in Sin and Both Dead
In a small little corner, in a forever stretching room
The title of my lover slowly fades which the moon
The lights went flashing and the car went with you
I wasn’t there but I felt you leave my heart and my life
To the end of all my happiness, to the end of my world.
The tears are falling from the clouds of my eyes
The anger striking down
It wasn’t meant to be this way, you were taken premature
One drink leads to slowness one drink takes a life.
A grave for an eternal rest, and a knife straight through my breast
Both in sin, we died that day
I killed myself after you passed away.
I wrote this on a sad day after i saw the simple plan video! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 22nd, 2005|01:21 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i feel nothing | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the beauty and the beast | ] |
Title:Hair Dyes and Transfers
Author: pizzaforagirl
Rating:pg-13
Summary: joel had no friends until he meets benji, what happens?
Disclaimer: i write this, and it's all made up so if you don't like it don't read
( chapter 15 ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 19th, 2005|05:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | dancing in the rain is fun! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | powerman 5000 | ] |
yeah it's been a while since i posted! but when im working and skipping school and all that fun stuff what can i do? and the skipping thing was only once so don't freak! but anyways i want to update, i have been writing poems so i haven't not been writing. well soon guys, soon so just a little longer! Star Wars is out!!! wooo hooo!!! |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[May. 8th, 2005|04:36 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  two reports and i have no time | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | MRC// the fourth song :/ | ] |
Title: forever and eternity
Author: pizzaforagirl
Summary: bathroom stalls hol his secrets but will benji have to read the stalls or will joel tell him?
Disclaimer: this is all fake but i still love benji and Joel!
( forever and eternity chpter 6 ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|02:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | i just remembered i have HW! | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Morrissey | ] |
well yesterday was soooo fucking fun! my mom took me and my sister out for a drive she let us drive and we are week away from our permits! i got to ride on the streets and then a cop pulled up behind us and i was driving and it fucking scared teh shit out of me! i had so much fun, then when we got home my mom dyed my hair and i drank so kaluwa oh yeah. we also rented some movies i saw danny darko and that bunny scared the shit out of me!! i didnt want to go to my room bye myself. i had so much fun yesterday!!! and i have school tomorrow...GREAT!!! not well peace eazy |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 17th, 2005|02:20 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | just finished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | morrissey// I have forgiven Jesus | ] |
Title: Hair Dyes and Transfers
Author: pizzaforagirl
Rating: pg-13
Disclaimer: read it and like it!!!!
Summary: Joel has no friends until he meets Benji, what happens?
( Chapter 14, bang bang ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|03:10 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nothing still doing | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | New found Glory// sticks and stones | ] |
read this, it's a quiz thing on how i will die. take it and then tell me ow you will die! i want to know sad as that may be cause it's kinda of funny!
( the death of me ) |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 16th, 2005|03:04 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | nothing doing | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | fall out boy | ] |
this is just something for people to know if they care to read it! im bored so forgive me! he he peace out and love to all the readers(smiles)
( im hot sticky and sweet ) |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
pizzaforagirl's journal